Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Another...

Gently disintegrate me
like the sound of the lulling sea
on the evenings when the rain
has kept us quiet indoors.
I’ll turn down our feathered quilt
and close out the ebbing light.
We’ll tuck into the night
and I’ll blink at the ceiling
where green, glow-in-the-dark stars
depict Orion’s slim hips.

7 comments:

apprentice said...

I like this a lot save for the last two lines, they seem at odds with the rest, but maybe that was the idea?

Anonymous said...

This is delightful, Barbara. No problems for me in the last two lines, which seem to emphasise animals attuned to their environment against the discomfort of their human proprietors.

Unknown said...

Thanks both for your readings of this. The last two lines are based on a real place - when we go on holidays in Kerry, the house is completely dark at night with all the lights turned out, and some wag has actually put glow in the dark stars on the ceiling in the shape of Orion. I have a thing about Orion - I must post the poem I wrote about him.

Rob said...

I enjoyed this too. I like the line, "We'll tuck into the night," with its suggestion of deep connection between person and environment.

Of course, it could be a surreal midnight feast too (I don't think that's a problem, by the way)!

Unknown said...

This has a lovely essence about it, gentle, dreamy yet still bordering reality - a lovely blending of two worlds.

Jon M said...

A really, snuggled up in the dark feeling to this one.

Gatepost productions said...

Loved it! You should have been a Shipwright as well as a wordsmith.

The borg all enjoyed it ... it's not the surf you hear ... it's the contented Borg l... listen to the hum!

Wrote my first short fiction, last month! It's being published in September! Couldn't believe my luck
It's about a family in Kabul, Afghanistan ... before the current troubles!